Awesome erotica for awesome adults only
By now I guess it should go without saying that every damn thing on this blog is only for adults, by which I mean 18+. There are frank discussions of sex, bondage, dominance and submission and all kinds of other fun stuff here. If you’re offended by any of those things, perhaps you would be happier reading something else. Think about it this way; it’s a huge time saver to just leave now instead of having to write angry letters later.
Before I started writing my own erotica, I read some stuff other people had done to get a feel for how it was supposed to go down. No pun intended. I’m a fairly voracious reader and came across a whole whack of stories on Amazon and Smashwords that were free and suited my purposes, so that’s where I started. I paid for a few things that looked interesting, but mostly stuck to the free side of the street because I’m a cheap bastard.
Now, I’d read erotica before. In fact, I’d say the first real piece of modern erotica I read was Anne Rice’s The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. It had some fairly hot parts, but there was also something about it that really bothered me and it wasn’t until I read Clyde Mach’s review of it that it really sunk in. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty is not good BDSM. Not because there’s no good BDSM in it, but the whole of the story is about unwilling participants. It’s fundamentally torture porn. There’s no reason to care about the various doms and dommes in the story because they’re really just assholes with too much power and it’s hard to care overmuch about the slaves because they’re mostly just caricatures. So, thanks, Clyde. You finally put my mind to rest about what really bugged me about that story.
Anyway, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty seems to have set a trend in the BDSM story arena where you wind up with characters and situations that go on forever. A huge amount of what I read was about people, men and women, becoming slaves to their master forever. There are things like contracts and rules and this and that and the other thing. Call me strange, but as soon as contract negotiations start, the sexy ends. 50 Shades was kind of like that, too.
Maybe I just don’t get the idea of wanting to play one role forever.
Plus, the mantra of anyone involved to any degree whatsoever with BDSM should always be Safe, Sane, Consensual. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty doesn’t really fall into any of those categories which lumps it squarely into the torture porn category as far as I’m concerned.
So, when did submission go from a sometimes thing to a rest of your life thing? And who would sign up for that plan, anyway?
Something else I’ve noticed is a preponderance of maledom. That’s not entirely surprising, men have been tying up women and having sex with them as long as there have been women and rope. It’s like it’s something in our genes. Nothing looks better than a bound woman. What is surprising is just how little femdom there is and just how disturbing it is to some people. What’s wrong with letting go and letting her make the decisions for a while? It doesn’t make you less of a man, whatever the hell that means.
So, I guess the best question is: Do women have a fundamental aversion to taking control? I know plenty of men have an aversion to surrendering control, but I would expect, given the large amount of female erotica writers out there, that there would be more femdom literature written by women, for women, but it’s kind of a wasteland out there.
A lot of the stuff I have come across trends toward the turning men into women genre, like punishing men for being men. Sure, there are guys into that kind of fantasy role-play and, frankly, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with, but a lot of the stories I came across seemed to have an almost mean edge to them, like the author was angry at men in general.
Are there solidly written stories where a woman dominates a man but still enjoys him as a man? Are there any good stories with a good back and forth between the characters?
Anyway, back to submission for both men and women. There seems to be, in the BDSM community (well, what little I know of it), a strong sense of “I’m a dom (or domme)” or “I’m a sub.” I can’t quite count myself in either group since I enjoy playing both roles. I also like not playing any roles.
I wonder if books like The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty started this trend toward severity in BDSM play and moved it from a couple of people tying each other up and having a good time toward things like slave culture and contracts.
Next time you decide to play, try switching up the roles. You might find it’s fun to be on the other side. Oh, and tear up those stupid contracts and just enjoy each other.