Troy King Erotica

Awesome erotica for awesome adults only

Submission and slave culture

By now I guess it should go without saying that every damn thing on this blog is only for adults, by which I mean 18+.  There are frank discussions of sex, bondage, dominance and submission and all kinds of other fun stuff here.  If you’re offended by any of those things, perhaps you would be happier reading something else.  Think about it this way; it’s a huge time saver to just leave now instead of having to write angry letters later.

Before I started writing my own erotica, I read some stuff other people had done to get a feel for how it was supposed to go down.  No pun intended.  I’m a fairly voracious reader and came across a whole whack of stories on Amazon and Smashwords that were free and suited my purposes, so that’s where I started.  I paid for a few things that looked interesting, but mostly stuck to the free side of the street because I’m a cheap bastard.

Now, I’d read erotica before.  In fact, I’d say the first real piece of modern erotica I read was Anne Rice’s The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty.  It had some fairly hot parts, but there was also something about it that really bothered me and it wasn’t until I read Clyde Mach’s review of it that it really sunk in.  The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty is not good BDSM.  Not because there’s no good BDSM in it, but the whole of the story is about unwilling participants.  It’s fundamentally torture porn.  There’s no reason to care about the various doms and dommes in the story because they’re really just assholes with too much power and it’s hard to care overmuch about the slaves because they’re mostly just caricatures.  So, thanks, Clyde.  You finally put my mind to rest about what really bugged me about that story.

Anyway, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty seems to have set a trend in the BDSM story arena where you wind up with characters and situations that go on forever.  A huge amount of what I read was about people, men and women, becoming slaves to their master forever.  There are things like contracts and rules and this and that and the other thing.  Call me strange, but as soon as contract negotiations start, the sexy ends.  50 Shades was kind of like that, too.

Maybe I just don’t get the idea of wanting to play one role forever.

Plus, the mantra of anyone involved to any degree whatsoever with BDSM should always be Safe, Sane, Consensual.  The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty doesn’t really fall into any of those categories which lumps it squarely into the torture porn category as far as I’m concerned.

So, when did submission go from a sometimes thing to a rest of your life thing?  And who would sign up for that plan, anyway?

Something else I’ve noticed is a preponderance of maledom.  That’s not entirely surprising, men have been tying up women and having sex with them as long as there have been women and rope.  It’s like it’s something in our genes.  Nothing looks better than a bound woman.  What is surprising is just how little femdom there is and just how disturbing it is to some people.  What’s wrong with letting go and letting her make the decisions for a while?  It doesn’t make you less of a man, whatever the hell that means.

So, I guess the best question is: Do women have a fundamental aversion to taking control?  I know plenty of men have an aversion to surrendering control, but I would expect, given the large amount of female erotica writers out there, that there would be more femdom literature written by women, for women, but it’s kind of a wasteland out there.

A lot of the stuff I have come across trends toward the turning men into women genre, like punishing men for being men.  Sure, there are guys into that kind of fantasy role-play and, frankly, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with, but a lot of the stories I came across seemed to have an almost mean edge to them, like the author was angry at men in general.

Are there solidly written stories where a woman dominates a man but still enjoys him as a man?  Are there any good stories with a good back and forth between the characters?

Anyway, back to submission for both men and women.  There seems to be, in the BDSM community (well, what little I know of it), a strong sense of “I’m a dom (or domme)” or “I’m a sub.”  I can’t quite count myself in either group since I enjoy playing both roles.  I also like not playing any roles.

I wonder if books like The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty started this trend toward severity in BDSM play and moved it from a couple of people tying each other up and having a good time toward things like slave culture and contracts.

Next time you decide to play, try switching up the roles.  You might find it’s fun to be on the other side.  Oh, and tear up those stupid contracts and just enjoy each other.

One comment on “Submission and slave culture

  1. dominantinlove
    May 10, 2014

    To make that short: Nope.

    I don’t have really have a submissive side (or at least the side is so tiny that it get’s pretty much killed by the dominant side every time it rears ist head). Trying to dominate me might amuse me (if it’s my submissive) or annoy me (if it’s anyone else), but it will never be successfull. Trying to “punish” me would be great way to make me really angry. Honestly, I would be a quite horrible submissive – simply because I’m not one.

    Some people are switchers, some people are not. It’s totally ok to be – but also, not to be. For me, “submissive” would be definitely “playing a role” – and a role, that I wouldn’t play very well, simply because my nature would conflict with that.

    There’s nothing wrong with being a female dominant or a male submissive, if you ask me, as long as you are true to yourself. I have some (female) dominant or switcher friends, as well as some submissive male friends – but that doesn’t Change that it’s not my Thing. It’s not that I think of it as unmanly or something like that, it’s simply not me. You can be a submissive and still be a great, manly man, if you ask me and being dominant doesn’t make a woman less female. It would be totally ok for me to be submissive – I’m just not, as well as I am not a ginger, which would be also ok.

    So, unfortunately, I can’t help you with femdom stories, as I simply don’t read many of them. F/f, sometimes, but F/m simply doesn’t do anything for me, so it has to be very well written to be at least enjoyable intellectually.

    Oh, and I don’t “play” anyway, there is no “next time” – “next time” is “now”, “at this very moment”. I have a D/S relationship and not just a “vanilla” relationship where we sometimes get the flogger from the cupboard and start to “play”. For me, that’s part of what and who I am and not a hobby or a kinky foreplay. And I don’t have a contract, I’m a dominant and not a lawyer 😉

    Like

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This entry was posted on May 9, 2014 by in Random thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , .

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